Dec. 20th, 2000

Dear Mr. + Mrs. Ishikawa

I realize we have not yet met each other but I needed to send you something I wrote. Ever since I looked at Monique's website with Jenn (Jenn Etherington) I have been thinking of Monique more frequently. Last night I had an overwhelming feeling of her presence and I began to cry. I wasn't sad though. I knew she was OK. I began to write after I sat on my bed and began to relax. I ended up writing a few pages that I really wanted to send you. You can do what ever you feel is right to do with the pages I've sent. I also want to wish you a Merry Christmas. All the best to you in New Year as well.

Tanja Morris

I am sort of unsure of why I am writing this now. After all, so much time has gone by. I know this though, I am not writing this to console anyone of this tragedy. Not to say I do not send my condolences but I feel I have so much more to say. Maybe I'm writing this now just because it is the right time, the right time to celebrate a life so often talked about, so often thought about. Unfortunately, I did not get the chance to know Monique the way many other fortunate people did. From what I know and what I've learned, I'm certain of one thing. She definitely came into this world this time around to teach something to everyone who came in contact with her I know my belief may be unique or looked upon as strange, but it is just my belief, or maybe not. Maybe you'll see what I'm saying after you read this. I still remember the few times I met Monique (through friends such as Jenn and Jill). I can't visually remember those times. I can't even remember dates. The memories I have surface more as feelings. She was such a "true beauty"; kind, smart, positive, stunning, so innocent, non-judgmental, cute, funny, sweet. al of that from the few times I met Monique. She was all of those things and so much more yet it didn't make you feel uncomfortable or inadequate. I only felt like I wanted to be all of those things yet it wasn't envy that I felt, it was and still is a feeling of possibility. This is why I believe that in this lifetime she came to make us aware of certain things. She taught me that it is possible to be an incredible human being and that you can effect people in such positive ways by being that type of person. She also taught me that people like this are rare so you should try to know them and have them in your life.

Like everyone else, I don't understand why things happened the way they did. I accept it all as the way it was meant to be. She still pops into my thoughts and conversations and I know it is to remind me of the person I can be, we can all be. I hope in anyone's time of sadness (when thinking of Monique or other tragedies), they think of and learn from what she taught me. Hopefully we can all be better people because of her. Keep the wonderful memories you have of her alive, and feel fortunate you were able to know her. Think of all the people who didn't get the chance. She'll always be in our hearts and believe me, she'll be back! A soul as pure as Monique's will survive through eternity.

"Until we meet again,"

Sincerely and with so much love,
Tanja Morris

up next